Help! My Child Has an Eating Disorder — What Do I Do?
By Edie Stark, LCSW
If you’ve landed here because you’re scared, confused, or overwhelmed, please know this: you are not alone. Hearing or even suspecting that your child might have an eating disorder is a gut-wrenching experience. You may be asking yourself: What do I do? How do I help? Where do I even begin?
First, take a deep breath. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. But what you do next matters.
Here’s what you need to know:
Eating Disorders Are Medical and Mental Health Conditions—And They’re Serious
Eating disorders can affect kids of all genders, body sizes, ages, races, and backgrounds. They are not a “phase” or a matter of vanity. They are serious and potentially life-threatening mental health conditions that require specialized care.
The most important thing you can do is to get your child connected to an eating disorder specialist—someone trained to assess and treat the unique medical, nutritional, and psychological needs involved. While general therapists and pediatricians are often caring and competent, they may not have the specific expertise to recognize or respond to eating disorders in their early stages.
Warning Signs to Watch For:
Every child is different, but here are some common red flags:
Sudden changes in eating patterns or food rituals
Avoiding meals or eating in secret
Preoccupation with weight, body size, or appearance
Excessive exercise or guilt around eating
Mood changes, irritability, or withdrawal
Physical symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, or changes in menstruation
And remember: eating disorders don’t have a “look.” Your child can be in a larger body, a smaller body, or any body and still be seriously struggling. It’s not about how they appear—it’s about how they’re functioning, coping, and thinking about food, body, and self.
Additional Signs of ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)
ARFID is another serious eating disorder that doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves. Unlike other eating disorders, ARFID isn’t driven by body image concerns. Here are some things to look for:
Extreme picky eating or food avoidance that interferes with health or daily life
Fear of choking, vomiting, or adverse reactions from food
Dramatic restriction of food variety or quantity
Lack of interest in food or eating
Significant weight loss or nutritional deficiencies without concern for body image
ARFID can be especially tricky to spot because it’s often mistaken for “just being picky.” If your child’s eating habits are affecting their physical health, emotional wellbeing, or ability to participate in normal activities, it’s time to reach out for support.
How I Can Support You as a Parent
As a licensed clinical social worker with years of experience treating eating disorders in teens and young adults, I know how complex this journey can be—not just for your child, but for you, too.
That’s why I offer parent coaching through Edie Stark Consulting.
Coaching is not about diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. Instead, it offers focused, expert guidance and emotional support to help you—the parent—navigate the care system and show up for your child in the most effective and compassionate way possible.
In our sessions, I’ll help you:
Understand your child’s diagnosis and what it means
Learn communication strategies that foster trust and safety
Navigate treatment options, providers, and levels of care
Set boundaries and expectations that support recovery
Feel less alone in the chaos of it all
Coaching is highly effective because it’s action-oriented and tailored to the unique needs of your family. While your child may be in therapy or treatment, you deserve support, too—especially from someone who understands the eating disorder landscape inside and out.
What Makes Coaching Different from Therapy (And Why It Works)
Therapy is a clinical process that typically involves diagnosing, treating, and supporting someone with a mental health condition. It’s essential and life-saving—and your child should be connected with a therapist or treatment team that specializes in eating disorders.
Coaching, on the other hand, is focused on you, the parent. It’s not about exploring your childhood or processing trauma (though those things matter, too)—it’s about giving you the tools and clarity to navigate what’s happening right now. Think of it as having a strategic partner and emotional sounding board who understands what you’re going through and knows the terrain of eating disorder recovery.
Because I’m not your therapist, our coaching relationship is flexible, collaborative, and deeply practical. I’ll help you identify next steps, connect with vetted resources, problem-solve tough moments, and feel more grounded and confident as you support your child. Coaching fills in the gaps between appointments, reduces decision fatigue, and gives you a space to breathe and regroup.
It’s not a replacement for therapy—it’s an essential complement when you’re navigating something as layered and scary as an eating disorder in the family.
Making Home a Recovery-Safe Environment
Once you’ve found a specialist and treatment has begun, you might be wondering: What can I do at home to support recovery? The home environment can play a huge role in your child’s progress and emotional wellbeing.
There are tangible, practical steps you can take to make your home feel like a safe, structured place for healing. From how you talk about food and bodies, to mealtime routines, to boundaries with movement—these daily choices matter.
I’ve written a detailed guide to help you set up your home in ways that support recovery. You can find it on my blogs at the group therapy practice I founded: Stark Therapy Group, where I share more about:
What to say (and not say) around food and body image
How to structure meals and snacks
Creating consistency and predictability
Supporting siblings
Navigating relapses and tough moments
It’s a great next step for any parent looking to reinforce treatment at home with care, consistency, and compassion.
You're Not Alone.
This is hard. But you don’t have to do it alone.
If you're unsure where to start, feel free to reach out. You can learn more about my coaching services and how I help families move from fear to clarity at Edie Stark Consulting.
You are your child’s biggest advocate, and with the right guidance and support, recovery is possible.
Let’s take the next step together.
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Ready to Take the Next Step Toward Your Vision?
Whether you're contemplating starting a group practice or navigating other challenges in the eating disorder treatment field, support is key to success. At Edie Stark Consulting, we specialize in empowering professionals like you to align your goals with sustainable, value-driven practices.
Through our four pillars of expertise, we provide:
Business Consulting: Build a thriving, values-based practice that supports both your clients and your lifestyle.
Clinical Consultation: Access ethical, inclusive, and social justice-oriented guidance for your eating disorder work.
Parent Coaching: Navigate your child's recovery with compassionate support and tailored strategies.
Media Consultation: Partner with us to create accurate, inclusive, and impactful media representation of eating disorders.